As of late I’ve been fixated with my hair. My hair story is a true roller coaster ride. I’ve had long hair. I’ve had short hair. I’ve had nappy hair. I’ve had straight hair. I think it’s easy for me to take care of my hair as long as I have the right products on hand. I’m pretty lazy when it comes to everything and doing my hair has just been an extra step that I didn’t feel like dealing with. After cutting my hair off I wanted to start over. What better way to start over than to use new products?

I tried out naked naturals and I really like it. It smells really nice which is an added bonus. I notice that often when you have hair care products that are supposed to help your hair grow they smell terrible so this was a pleasant surprise. Right now my hair is falling out like crazy and I have no idea why. I went never seeing any hair in the drain while washing my hair in the shower to having to take hair out of the drain twice while washing my hair! That’s a big difference. I don’t know why my hair is falling out but hopefully the strength in Naked Naturals will help since it makes hair 7x stronger.

I love using all natural hair products that’s another reason why this natural shampoo is great! Why put stuff in your hair that you can’t even pronounce? The shampoo is also color treated. My hair is naturally a dark reddish-brown color and I dyed it black. Oh boy. So now my hair is all types of colors. I’m glad that this product has color treatment protection…it may not turn my hair one solid color but at least it’s protected!

I just made a twitter and I really do believe this. No matter what’s going on there will always be some problems in your life that’ll cause dismay and possibly depression but in spite of all that I still love the Lord.

I say that because I don’t think they’ll be a time when everything is going to go right. That’s what keeps you on your toes. I can probably write a list of things that aren’t going my way. I can probably tell you everything that I wish I can change. Just as I could do that I can come up with a list of things that are going right. Things that I am thankful for and I’m sure at the end of the day the good outweighs the bad.

I believe that you should do unto others as you want them to do unto you. Even though I believe this it doesn’t mean it actually happens. I’m nice to everyone. That’s just how I am. That’s how my mother raised me to be. I learned different things from both of my parents who are both spiritual. My mom is sweet as pie. That’s where I get my niceness from. She’s always nice. My dad is more of a business man. So when I meet someone I try to be nice before thinking “what can they do for me”. But I think it’s the other way around with other people. I feel like I give, give, give and people take, take, take. At the end of the day I end up brokenhearted.

Lately I’ve been holding people too close to my heart. I spoke with an old friend and she said it was hard getting me to be her friend. I was always nice to her but it was hard getting me to open up, to call, to take that extra step, to want to do stuff. I figured maybe that was the deal with a lot of people. I do go into my standoffish mode a lot and people think that I don’t want to be their friends. That’s not the case. So even when I changed my ways and put my guard down the outcome is the same…except it hurts just a little bit more.

The Chrissy you see on this site, versus the Chrissy you see on video versus the Chrissy you talk to on the phone, versus the Chrissy you see on person will always be different. I’m the same person but with me each experience is different. I feel like no tone is sent through blogs. Everyone can read something a different way. Even on the phone or when you’re just listening it can come off a different way based on how you heard it. On video it can come off a different way based on how someone expresses themself. I’m so different. I’ve always been. I’m not the girl who fits in. Even when I want to, I just can’t. I’m content with that. That’s what makes me me. If anyone has a problem with it then I don’t know what to say. There’s nothing I can do. I’ve been living my life on my own for most of my life. I spend a lot of time with myself because I have fun with myself. Sometimes it is nice to talk to others when the world is driving you crazy or when you don’t want to be the person everyone is staring at in the mall, the coffee house or the bowling alley because you’re by yourself. I need to get over the awkward stares because it looks like I’m going to be by myself for a little while. That’s fine. I don’t mind. Other people are more concerned with it than I am which makes me think that there’s a problem.

Chrissy has big plans for herself in the future and right now she is getting her stuff together and locking things into place. What she’s going through now is just a small speed bump.

Sometimes I need to stop and evaluate my life when I think things are going bad. Sometimes it just hits so hard…it hurts. I’m going through my facebook looking at people who added me as friends. Once upon a time we were friends and we probably haven’t exchanged words since they added me on Fbook…but basically I’m better off alone, as Leona would say. Maybe friendships get interrupted because that person isn’t right for you. You don’t need them in your life and they don’t add anything to yours. Maybe you can’t wake up and smell the coffee on your own. You need to get sprayed by a skunk for the smell to stand out. Maybe, just maybe that’s why I go through the same things over and over again. I don’t necessarily think the people are bad it’s just the reasons/excuses they use to end our friendship don’t make any sense to me. But it’s not for me to understand everything. Maybe this has to do something with His divine intervention. Maybe a big fallout prevented me from being with a person at a certain time when a shoot out just happened to take place. Maybe this intervention prevented me from being in a car with someone when they got pulled over by the cops for having a stolen car and/or drug possession. Maybe this intervention helped me get to where I am in life today — child free, drug free and not addicted to alcohol. Sure, a lot of bad has happened…but the good surely does outweight the bad. I’m alive, I can breathe on my own, I have parents who love me, I have two amazing siblings and I couldn’t imagine loving a family more than I love the one that God has blessed me with.

I’ve been writing a lot in the old form lately. On a notepad with a pen. The pad is so warped from me crying so much. There’s some things hard for me to talk about with people yet alone blog about them on this site. But it feels good to be able to type how I’m feeling again. I plan on having a new site up by the end of the month so I’m excited about that. Maybe I’ll be able to blog about how I’m feeling. We shall see…

Guys piss me off. Seriously. I don’t get them. It’s like they are made of ice or something. Someone just said something pretty cold to me. I don’t know why I even care so much, but I do. I thought I was cool with someone and they say we’re cool too but sometimes the things they say just annoy me. I should have just left it alone. I don’t know why I continue to let people hurt me. What they said tonight wasn’t that big of a deal, it’s just annoying. They have done some things in the past that anyone would consider a big deal. I know I’m probably just talking in circles but I feel so ugh. I think it all boils down to girls being able to express their emotions and guys seem like they can’t. I only have one best friend but I do care about some people that I met while in school. I know a few cool people. I just feel like if I’m not adding anything to your life then why am I in your life? Why do you waste your time trying to talk to me? I’m not asking to be your best friend and you know that there’s no way in hell that I’d date you, so what’s the deal? This is why I say it’s hard to find friends. Because of bs like this. So I stopped chatting with them and they’re gonna say I know you’re feelings aren’t hurt. Um..what do you think? But no, they aren’t hurt. I don’t know why I would expect better from you. You’re just like all the rest.

I just put my hair in a ponytail! This is major news. I cut all my hair off less than a year ago. I relaxed my hair today and sat under the dryer for a while. I wrapped my hair in saran wrap before getting under the dryer. It turned out really good. I’ll either flat iron it and wear it that way or wear it in a pony. I think I’m going to do the latter because I don’t want to expose my hair to more anymore heat. It’s falling out like crazy. My hair was so thick! It was so hard to part to put the relaxer in and whatnot. I’m glad that I got that over with. A bunch fell out while combing it before the relaxer, a bunch of it was stuck in the drain and a bunch is still coming out as I comb it. What I’m going to focus on is strengthening my hair. I haven’t been taking care of it and it’s been growing but it’s falling out at the same time.

I added some of Dr. Miracle’s Anti-Breakage cream to my hair just a little while ago, put it in a ponytail and tied it up. I really was planning on wrapping it but I think I’m going to try the pony method because I’ve noticed that wrapping my hair does make my head hurt a little. I guess it’s because of the way it grows in. I’m not exactly sure. I have more hair treatment posts at my other site. I think I’m just going to merge them in with my regular blog.

I think buying a salon style bonnet dryer was a great purchase. When I wash my hair it’s always pretty straight. When I blow dry it with a hand held dryer I get an instant afro. I bought the bonnet dryer in hopes that it will help keep my hair straight. So far, so good. I don’t remember my hair ever being this straight after washing/relaxing it.

I’m trying to be more positive about life. It’s so easy to get depressed about what you don’t have and how things aren’t going your way. It’s much harder to be happy when things aren’t going your way. I’m trying to grab that positivity from within (because I know it’s in me) and I’m going to get myself together. This is gonna be my motivational video:

I was in Detroit for a little while with the family and all. I decided to come back home so I can get a real vacation because they were just working me and driving me crazy. Other stuff made me mad as well so it was best for me to just leave. I left out at 3am. It was sad. My siblings were sleeping so I woke up my brother and asked him for a hug and a kiss and he asked me if I was leaving and I told him yes. He started frowning. I did the same thing to my sister and she talks loud so she’s like why are you leaving? Don’t go Chrissy. And some other stuff. That made me sad. I put some cocoa butter on her face before I left and she’s like what are you doing? What’s that? It was too cute. I love my siblings. It would be better if I could see them without dealing with the other stuff. That’s why I like bringing them to my place…we always have fun.

Speaking of my place I’m mad. I don’t even feel like getting into that right now. I talked about it enough on Twitter. UGH! I’m happy to be back to my own room and my own bed. Now I just gotta clean and everything will be all good

I just got finished writing the worst paper of my life. I’m the type of person who LOVES to write. When I’m at a loss of words then something is wrong. Seriously. Have you seen my blogs? I know I can write but for this essay I couldn’t get anything to flow to save my life. I was writing line for line, not page for page. Not even paragraph for paragraph. Usually when I get an idea I can flow with it. That’s why it takes me no time to write a paper. But with this…it was different. It was more challenging. The assignment was general but I didn’t have anything to add and I couldn’t pull anything from anywhere. It’s good to have that one person in your corner rooting you on. I really needed that support. That paper is worth 25% of my grade. I don’t know what I’m going to get on it, but I’m sure it will be better than a zero, so thank you for that. I really do appreciate you.

I’m going to take a shower and then who knows where I’ll go from there. Actually I need to perm my hair, pack my clothes and find something to wear to church for Friends and Family day. I really don’t feel like doing any of this because I’m so tired. On top of it all I plan on leaving by 12:30 or 1:00. Yeah, that’s ambitious. Well I have a million things to do and not enough time to do it so I’m about to go drop this paper off, take care of some things on campus and then try my best to get my hair done REALLY fast and pack. *sigh*

I have a new phone. I bought a Blackberry after talking about it so much that I’m sure someone is sick of me right about now. Hehe. But I LOVE it. I’m not going to take my laptop home this weekend so I can get used to using it and whatnot. I’m going to try to blog from there. If I don’t make it back here…have a great weekend!

I’m sitting here going through a lot of things in my head. I’m getting a migraine. I feel so stressed/depressed and just sad. I’ve been holding a lot of things in just praying that they would get better. I wanted to schedule an appointment to talk to someone but they’re so backed up. I’d get seen by the beginning of April. I just want things to magically get better.

On another note…I’ll probably be a little happier tomorrow. I’m expecting something in the mail and tomorrow is the last day of class. I have to write a 4-6pg paper and a 1pg Spanish journal by 3pm tomorrow and so far I have nothing.

I’ve been putting “07″ on a lot of stuff lately. I guess I’m not used to writing 08 yet or I just forgot it was 08.

I’ll probably end up doing my hair tomorrow (or Friday) going to get my siblings on Friday and spending the weekend with them. I’m glad I get a break from classes and hopefully I’ll be able to screw my head on straight.

I’m not really hungry but I want a snack. I’m about to go find something…

The title of this entry is meant to be read with a British accent :]

Anywho, I was really craving some chocolates about 3 hours ago. I got dressed, drove to CVS and hunted for some Valentine’s Day sale candy. They had NONE. I was shocked. I know places usually have a ton of stuff after VDay. I should have went to Walgreen’s but that’s out of the way. I was able to find some Hershey’s Kisses filled with Caramel for 99 cents. I was happy about that. I wanted those and some regular kisses but the regular ones weren’t on sale. They only had 4 bags left…and I bought all 4 bags. I should NEVER shop when I’m craving something. I got McDonalds while I was out because it was 3am and I realized that I didn’t eat anything the previous day. Well, I just opened the chocolates and I ate 2 out of the bag. I’m no longer craving them. So what am I to do with all these kisses? Two bags expire this month and the other 2 expire in April.

I guess I’ll give a bag to my mom and have her take them to work, keep a bag for myself, let my siblings munch on some while they are here and I’m sure I can save the other bag until April or something. This all depends on how big of a dent my siblings put into this chocolate. I’m not really about candy. Especially now that my teeth are jacked. I only liked skittles and junior mint/york peppermint patties and whoppers before but now I hardly ever eat skittles. Everyone knew I always had some skittles somewhere. Purse, pocket, car, bookbag…SOMEWHERE. I’m not even like that now. I think I have a box of skittles in my school bag but that’s in case of emergencies or something.

I’m getting a little tired now but I positioned myself to stay up because I really have to get some stuff done. Who waits until 6am Monday morning to start working on their homework? I do! I do! This weekend was a total waste. *runs off to fill water bottle*

I’m on the phone trying to get my domain issues straightened out. UGH. It just feels like this week just wont ever get better. I’m so happy I only have class for 4 days and then I’m off for a week. I have an exam tomorrow that I’m not ready for and a 6 page paper due and I don’t even know what I’m going to write it on. I wish these people would take me off hold. UGH! I feel like I’m just going to end up losing more money that I don’t have to waste. I should have just renewed with GoDaddy. Trying to save money always causes an issue at the end of the day.